Thursday, 15 April 2010

Construction Shards

When I was young my dad was an asshole amoung assholes. He'd force my mum to feed me and my sister soap if we did anything wrong. My mum wouldn't want to, but she knew if she didn't he have it in for her too. My dad would smack us with belt buckels and ground us by the week for no good reason.

I've never gotten along with my dad, but it was because of this I never hung out with him, nor left my room where I played my MegaDrive, playing sonic games excessively at the ages of 6 to maybe late 9.
Because I played so often I'd shake in school, and y'know how there's always one freak in your class/school that no one wants to hang out with. Well, thankfully that wasn't me, but on a list of 1 to 10, and 10 being the worst, I was likely around 8.

So awesome. I had no friends and had a terrible family. Anyway, cutting he crap, it's too long a story as it is...

Basically having my dad has made me hate human error. So naturally I hate everyone including myself, cause we suck. Seriously. We're a stupid race. Just look through this thread at how bad my grammer, spelling, pronounciation is. It's terrible.

Anyway. I always pretended to have multiple voices in my head after the book 'A hat full of sky, by Terry Prattchet'. when I was young. Well, now I have the misery of actually having several voices in my head at. All. Times.

Most of the time I hear them at work, calling my name like "oh yes please Anthony"; and I'd look around and there'd be no one there, or the persons voice I heard it in wouldn't even be in the bar that day.

When I go to sleep at night my mind builds together pictures of... anything, like just earlier while I was trying to get to sleep (it's currently 2:04 am), I kept imagining a syncronization (terrible spelling, not bothered to google search/correct it) in the game Assassins Creed II, like where the city builds its self from out of nowhere.

So yeah, I'd lie in bed and have dozens of voices talking over me, making it hard to sleep, and whats worse is because ... I think everyone sucks, I don't want to go see a doctor. The first time I went to see my doctor she didn't believe me, and just told me to speak to someone about it when 'derp derp, what the hell do you think I'm here for?'

1 comment:

  1. thats surprising id think shed at least try to help you, i know youve occasionally mentioned like hearing voiced but i didnt know it was this bad